Friday, April 9, 2010

Couch Potatoes

The other day my nephew came to visit. I heard his arrival, but noticed the lack of rambunctious laughter and hearty guffaws that generally accompany his entrance. As any parent will attest, silent kids are scary kids. As much as we yearn for peace, it terrifies us. When you become so completely accustomed to the melee; the never-ending din of child rearing; quietude is something to be feared. It seldom, if ever, indicates a wholesome, preapproved activity is being embarked upon.

I don't want to say thoughts 'raced,' through my head. Let's say they, 'jogged,' or possibly 'sauntered.' Possible scenarios included an image of my nephew falling down the stairs that descend into the family room. I saw his tiny body, arms outstretched, grasping for anything with which to steady himself and my daughter vaulting across the room to his rescue; pinning his toddler body to her chest and rolling across the floor in some Matrix-inspired, suspended-animation move she saves him. (My imagination's impressive!)

Then there was the thought of my ever-inquisitive, terminally-curious nephew seeing something inedible and discovering it's size/shape are perfect to fit within his mouth. His face, turning every shade of purple from lavender to plum, exhibiting an expression of unadulterated horror. My daughter (ever the heroine of my insane, mental hypotheticals) charges to his rescue, attempting to mimic the life-saving Heimlich maneuver.

I knew better, but I'm a writer. A vivid imagination is a requirement! Or maybe it's just indicative of being a huge dork....;o)

At any rate...Upon entering the room, I spied them cuddled together on a family-room chair. No broken bones or charred remains of furniture were to be seen. No asphyxiation seemed eminent. They were fine. Imagine that. And when I beheld them nestled together I had to capture the sweetness of the moment on camera. There the two of them sat snuggled close, utterly spellbound by what they were watching on the television. After snapping the picture, I turned to the TV to see what had them so completely enthralled...


That's right--Oprah. My daughter and nephew have become mesmerized by day-time television. I never thought this day would come. Okay, so I knew it would come, but I just thought I had something close to a decade to prepare. I assumed it would correspond with later-life events like applying to colleges and having a first job, etc. I never imagined that as early as the fourth grade, Ms. Winfrey would already have indoctrinated yet another generation of loyal followers. That she'd have her diamond-studded hooks firmly embedded in the likes of my daughter. And how old is my nephew? Not even two. I gotta hand it to the woman; that's some effective media! That the two of them would opt for Oprah over Disney Channel or Nickelodeon says a lot about her incredible mass appeal!

To be fair, my daughter has met Oprah. She was even kissed by her following Ali's appearance on her show. So, I think that adds to Oprah's mystique in my daughter's eyes. And with Oprah's keen observation in proclaiming that my daughter was, "so cute," I have to say I find myself partial to Ms. Winfrey as well ;o)

Also worth mention, is the fact that Oprah's guests that afternoon were some of the funniest people on God's green earth! Steve Carell, Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan (LOVE him) and Betty White. I'm sure that was appreciated by the younger set!

So, in short, the kids were hale and hearty and free from certain disaster and, as of April 6, 2010, The Queen of Talk had acquired two new followers. She couldn't have done better! ;o)

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